To be honest, every therapy session is going to be slightly different because therapy is a relational process. The relationship you have with your therapist is unique and no two therapeutic relationships are the same.

That being said, some therapists do like to structure sessions a particular way. In my in-person sessions with clients I like to offer the option to start at the art-making table or to start off seated in comfy chairs.
If it’s available I like to offer tea and try to invite my client to relax and settle into the space.

During online sessions I will check in with the client about whether they are comfy and ready to begin. Then we will usually dive right into whatever the psyche wants to bring that day. I encourage my online clients to do what they need to do to be cozy and present for the session. If requested, I happily send extra resources after the session in the form of articles or book recommendations.

What actually happens in the session depends on the client and what they bring. Sometime I will hold the space and allow for uninterrupted waterfalls of thoughts and feelings. Other times, I will stop the conversation to ask the client to sit with something that seems important. Art making might occur, or the analysis of a dream. Often we talk about feelings and unmet needs.

Whatever it is the client brings I must do my best to be a steady and safe container for their inner world. Together, we look for patterns in the material brought to our sessions and explore where these patterns come from and how they manifest. When a client starts to notice and avoid these patterns we celebrate and discuss the experience of this phenomenon.

In conclusion, what actually happens in therapy is the experience of relationship. Not a romantic relationship, as this would be a violation of the therapeutic container and alliance. To be clear, there is no situation in which a therapist should ever have a romantic relationship with their client. This a profound violation and indicates a loss of objectivity and self-awareness for the therapist.

Ideally, a professional relationship is formed which allows for a deep exploration of the psyche without fear of judgment. This is a special relationship, which involves the utmost trust of the client that the therapist will be able to walk with them (metaphorically) as they go through their healing journey.

Eventually, as is the natural way of things, the relationship ends and grief is shared by both the client and the therapist. This grief is ideally mixed with excitement and celebration as the ending of the relationship means the client is ready to move forward into the next chapter of their life.